The struggle I am facing

Hi, Gopi here.

For the past month, one question has been running on a loop in my head:

“Is what I’m doing right now getting me to the future I want?”

It seems so basic, but it’s the ultimate filter. Is this activity, this meeting, this hour of work actually worth the outcome? Is it getting me closer to the person I need to become?

But this month, that question stopped being a simple filter and became a source of chaos.

It started during my holiday. I was talking to my friends, Nooa and Josue, about their aspirations. They poured out their dreams - how they want to live a balanced life, prioritize family, travel, and achieve financial freedom. Their map was clear, and it was beautiful.

And I can’t lie - hearing their path made me question my own.

My goal has always been simple, if a little vague: have a huge impact. Build something that matters, whether it’s a startup or an NGO. But their clarity made my grand vision feel fuzzy. They were designing a life; I was chasing a peak.

Suddenly, my brain felt like a browser with 100 tabs open.

Is my aspiration to become who I want to be still the same?
How do I really feel about doing a Master's?
Should I join a new startup?
How do I travel the world, build relationships, AND work on something impactful?

Every tab was demanding my attention, and the noise was paralyzing.

So after the holiday, I made a decision. I wouldn’t dive straight back into work. I wouldn’t try to answer the questions by "doing more."

Instead, I decided to do the opposite.

I went far away from anywhere comfortable → to a random park I’d never been to, with just a notebook and a pen. It sounds like the most basic advice you’d hear from a self-help guru, I know.

But lowkey, it worked.

I just did a brain dump. I wrote down every question, every doubt, every half-baked idea. I let the chaos spill out of my head and onto the page.

I didn’t walk out of that park a changed man. I didn't find the one answer.

But I did find something just as valuable: order.

The 100 chaotic tabs in my brain were now an organized list on a piece of paper. The mess wasn't gone, but it was rearranged. I could see the different paths, the different desires, and how they conflicted and connected.

The real lesson wasn't in the answers I found. It was in the act of stopping.

We're told to push through, to hustle harder when we feel lost. But sometimes, the most productive thing you can do is to stop doing completely, create space, and just sit with the questions.

It's great to hear other people's perspectives. It's even better when it forces you to re-read your own map.